Page 35,36 Humourous things

roll1993
I am still trying to think of humorous things that have happened in the past – just stupid things happen when you are in your 70’s but some are worth a good laugh.

Did you ever go to church and get a little bored so start counting the spots on the floor and notice your shoes are on the wrong feet?  How could I ever walk down that long aisle and not feel that my shoes were on the wrong feet?

Then as you are changing them you accidentally slide it under two rows in front of you.

Shoes feel funny

Did you ever get wrapped up in toilet paper?  The other morning I woke up to the funniest sight, there was a trail of toilet paper from the bathroom to my bed.

It seemed I caught the paper under my gown as I was putting it down.  The light wasn’t on so I didn’t see it. Then every time I turned in my sleep it wrapped around me more.  What a funny sight and surprise when I awoke in the morning. 2/25/93.

Grandma -page 35,36

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Page 31, June

cats-out-of-the-bag

What I let out

It happened so often lately because of my hearing – I let the cat out of the bag this time.

Stephen came to take June to his house (for a surprise birthday dinner.)  He said, “Can I use your phone?”

I thought he said, “Are you going?”

I said “No I don’t celebrate birthdays” – so he caught on that his wife was doing something for his birthday.


Key

What I pulled in

June always wears the house key on an elastic around her waist.  When she first moved in with me she was unlocking the door with the key still around her. 

I heard her coming so was opening the door from the inside and was pulling her in as I opened it.  She did not have time to release the key from the keyhole – and it was still around her waist!


Note: June is Eleanor’s sister


Grandma -page 31

Page 29,30 The funniest dream

Speaking of dreams, last night I had the funniest dream ever (Sept 19, 1992).  A big fat older man was standing in the back of the church in his pajamas and robe.  He said, “my woman said I had to be baptized before she would marry me.”

Fatman
Skinny-dipping?

In my dream, I thought he must think he has to wear pajamas in the pool.  When he walked down the steps in the water, I saw he was naked.  The pastor had a hard time baptizing him because he was so big and fat.

When the man started to go out of the pool he fell and almost drowned, the pastor had a hard time getting him out of the water.  Then the man walked up the steps and at the top step turned around and waved to everyone in the congregation.  All we could see was a big, bare body.

Now!  Why would your mother have such a crazy dream?  The only reason I can come up with is – maybe I was in such misery with my hemorrhoids surgery it gave me a reason to laugh.  I wonder does God plan things like that??

Granma -Page 29,30

Page 28, The dream answer

You know it sure helps to believe in the Lord, and believe in prayer. When I was going to college in Michigan I had to write a story – no longer than one side of notebook paper.  The professors said it had to start like this, “The moment I walked in the cafe.”

Before I went to sleep I prayed and prayed because I had no idea what to write.  I had a dream of the whole story, then I awoke after the dream, jumped out of bed and wrote the dream down.

I thought in the morning I’ll make any changes that are needed but I could not improve on it.  I still have it saved some place among my papers.  I hope you find it and read it.

God is so good.


Granma's dream explanation

Note:  When I was in Michigan (1967) I started to go to college and took a course to be a Day Care Teacher. I planned on returning to St Pete Beach and starting a Day Care in First Baptist.

My dream story is here.

The only thing I wish I dreamed a different name for the Pastor – Paul or John instead of Deacon.

Granma's dream

The moment I opened the door of the cafe – I knew that the Reverend Deacon was there.  He sat alone in a dimly lit corner.  He kept his gaze on one person.

“It can’t be true – the congregation must be wrong,” he muttered quietly to himself. “Is it liquor?  No!  Surely it must be a glass of ginger ale.”

He faintly heard “love” and “come with me,” as a slip of paper was given to several men.  He thought desperately, “Could it be her phone number or a meeting place?”

All this was too much for the Reverend Deacon’s damaged heart.  As he rose to leave the Cafe, he slumped over never to regain consciousness.

He never learned that his young daughter was presenting the highest degree of love – the love of Christ.

John 3-16

Page 27, Bare Ass Beach

When I was about ten we (the neighborhood kids) went to a swimming hole, the older boys named it BARE Ass BEACH.  That was ok with me because I  thought they were calling it ‘Brass Beach,’ but there was always a snicker when I told Mom that I was going to Brass Beach. I always wondered why the snicker.

Granma -Page 24,25